I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
