Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
