i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
