the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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