Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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