We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
