just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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