He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
