do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
