I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
