When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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