no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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