Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
