i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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