You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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