**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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