and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.