so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
did you just send me my own nude
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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