just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Your penis caused this!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
