i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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