my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize