I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
