proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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