I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
