I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize