please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
