Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
