It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
