I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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