The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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