Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
