That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize