Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
