Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
