I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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