PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
