I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
