i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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