i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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