She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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