I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
