i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
