I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
