I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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