I like to think it a success when the cops are called
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
