these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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