Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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