I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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