I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
