remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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