You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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