Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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