I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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