I CAN MOONWALK!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
