fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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