The beer is more important than you right now.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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