Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I forget how to act sober
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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