...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
