I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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