Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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